Funeral Life Celebration for Dorothy

Funeral Date/Time: January 4, 2022 at 12.45pm

Dorothy Bell (circa 2012

Details of Celebration
Celebrant: Stevie Glover (Humanist/non religious celebration that she wished, to reflect Dorothy's broad and eclectic religious background).

Dorothy requested no or minimal flowers and suggested a charitable donation to Parkinsons UK.

Thank you to all who have donated online or at the Funeral-Life Celebration.

I thought a good way to participate in her funeral or internment of ashes would be to bring/post a single small flower head; dried, fresh or wilted, flower or tree bud, wild or cultured, to go in a bowl and to be buried with her ashes. Essentially representing the cycle of life. This can express your connection and love for Dorothy. The Flowers Poem read at the funeral and internment of ashes.

Dorothy, You are the Flower

(Adapted from a Japanese poem, author unknown)

The world is a flower.
Gods are flowers.
Enlightened ones are flowers.
All phenomena are flowers.
All of the different kinds of the colours of flowers,
all the different kinds of love shining forth.
Life unfolds from life and returns to life.
Such an immense universe! Oh many lives!
Flowers of gratitude, flowers of sorrow,
flowers of suffering, flowers of joy,
laughter’s flowers, anger’s flowers,
heaven’s flowers, hell’s flowers.
Each connected to the others
and each making the others grow.

When our real mind’s eye
opens to this world of flowers, all beings shine,
music echoes through mountains and oceans.
One’s world becomes the world of millions.
The individual becomes the human race.
All lives become the individual --
billions of mirrors
all reflecting each other.
Dorothy, there is death and there is life,
there is no death and no life.
There is changing life, there is unchanging life.
Flowers change colour, moment by moment.

Such a vivid world! Such a bright you! . . .
Dorothy, you were born out of these flowers,
you gave birth to these flowers.
You have no beginning and no ending,
you are bottomless and limitless,
even as you are infinitesimal dust . . .

Dorothy, you are the flower.
You are love.
All beings shine out of their uniqueness,
all melt into the oneness of colours.
You are one, you are many,
only one moment, only one unique place,
only the unique you.
Beside you there is nothing:
you dance, appearing in all.

From nowhere you came, to nowhere you go.
You stay nowhere. You are nowhere attached.
You occupy everything, you occupy nothing.
You are the becoming of indescribable change.
You are love. You are the flower.

Source of inspiration and Adapted from: The Zen of Living and Dying by Philip Kapleau, Shambala Publications 1998

Two Poems by Dorothy's friend Annie

(Left by Dorothy in the book – Tibetan Book of Living and Dying)

New Life

When my life is over
and my jobs are done
I know there is a place for me, behind the shining sun.

I’ll float across the midnight sky,
I’ll dance around a star,
yet stay so close beside you
“I haven’t travelled far”.

I’ve lost the shell I lived in,
yet still remain the same.
Every moment passing, a loving strength I gain.

Like a new born baby
Fresh, and bright and new,
yet every ounce of knowledge, I’ve taken with me too!

I stand beside you lovingly
each and every day.
Watching you, guiding you
in my special way.

Just because I’m out of sight,
please don’t think I’ve gone.
We never see the wind that blows,
and yet we hear his song.

Time

(Read at the internment of ashes)

A man whose heart, now broken
reflects a bird with injured wings,
The man has lost his meaning,
the bird, he never sings.

But time can be the healer
and ease the hurting heart,
chase away the ache inside,
to give a brand new start.

Time will rest the wings,
of the gracious bird.
Magically to mend them,
without a spoken word.

Dorothy had requested her ashes be placed near her two dogs, Husky & Karl at Ayle Cottage, near Alston.

Husky ~~~~ Karl

Limestone marker originally carved by Jon Imrye with the Tibetan/Sanskrit Script - Om Mani Padme Hum. The Mantra of Great Compassion and same mantra/script on Dorothy's Wedding Ring that translates simply to "Hail, to the Jewel in the Lotus". It relates to Universal Compassion expressed by the attributes of the Buddhist archetypical deity; Avalokiteshvara, Kannon/Kaneon, Quan-yin.

Dorothy requested her ashes to be interred by her pet dogs, Husky and Karl, in the garden of Ayle Cottage, near Alston. A cottage Dorothy bought with her sister Margaret in the late 1970s.

The garden area she called The Dell, is a quiet wild woodland valley on the south side of Ayleside Fell.

From this location there is a view to Cross Fell, the highest mountain in the North Pennines. Interestingly, also the source of two rivers, Tyne and Tees, that defines the area Dorothy lived within for most of her life. Born by the River Wear at Penshaw, brought up by the Wear at Chester-le-Street, started married and family life by the River Tees at Thornaby, lived, worked and died near the River Tyne at Newcastle. Her ashes lie a few yards from Robert’s Gill, which joins the South Tyne. She has in a sense, returned to the source physically and spiritually.

Connected to the continuous flow and circle of life.

Music Chosen

1. Gaté, Gaté, a modern choral work by Robert Gass drawing upon the Buddhist Heart Sutra. Reflecting Dorothy's interest in contemplative traditions, philosophy and mysticism.

The Mantra of Great Wisdom, translates; Going, Going, Always Going On Beyond, Always Becoming Buddha, Hail. It expresses the developing journey towards spiritual fulfilment for all beings.

2. Lean on Me, a version by Chantz, and favourite fun song. She often sang with her carers and family, reflecting how others were supported by her in the past, and in later years when she needed someone to lean on.

3. Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland, the type music from her childhood that she revisited many times, and words so relevant at this moment.

Eulogy and Tributes Spoken at the Funeral Celebration – January 4, 2022

Words given by Celebrant, Stevie Glover,

Dorothy was born in Penshaw she grew up in Chester-le-Street where she lived with her with parents and her sister Margaret. She was brought up an Anglican but her independent mind lead her to explore Catholicism. Much to the disapproval of her father!

Dorothy was a bright intelligent girl, at school she was gifted with good word and number skills. During the war she was evacuated to Rothbury where she lived with an Aunt for a time.

When she left education Dorothy began working as an Auditor for a Newcastle Accountancy company. She met her first husband William Graham French, known to all as Graham, whilst at work. After their marriage the couple moved to live at Thornaby on Teesside.

Over the following years Dorothy became the mother of three sons, Christopher, Peter and Michael. When the boys were young the family moved to Sedgefield where Dorothy and Graham bought a shop and adjoining house on the High Street.

Dorothy ran the shop which really did stock just about anything you could think of, from Pan Scrubbers to Timex watches.

Dorothy, Graham and sons took holidays in Scotland, Anglesey, Filey, Scarborough and Malta.

As her sons grew older Dorothy became interested in Yoga. She studied extensively and she was a founder member of the British Wheel of Yoga in the North East. She also developed her studies of complementary therapies and Oriental Philosophy.

As her interest in the philosophy behind the discipline of Yoga increased she went on to work with Dr Karel Werner (Professor of Oriental Studies at Durham University) where she taught the tradition along side him.

In 1980 after nearly twenty five years of marriage Dorothy’s husband Graham died suddenly. Their sons, Chris, Peter and Michael were aged between 20 to 23 at the time. Chris was away on a gap year in Australia after gaining a Degree at Durham University.

Dorothy took a break from teaching and many months later she spotted a notice in a small Friends of the Earth shop in Durham advertising Yoga classes at the University.

She wrote to the teacher explaining that although she wasn’t a student at the University she had some experience of Yoga and she would like to return to the practice.

Gordon was delighted to welcome Dorothy to his class. They shared many joint interests and a year or so later they married. Together they explored aspects of Buddhism, Taoism, oriental therapies, natural healing and natural diets.

Dorothy began to stock lines of whole foods in the shop. Exotic things like dried Japanese seaweed sat along side the fancy goods and household items. Gordon gave Macrobiotic Cookery demonstrations and once a month they would host supper evenings. The menu made up of dishes made from whole foods.

Dorothy enjoyed running the shop, over the years several of her customers became good friends. Through her studies Dorothy had a breadth of knowledge and her kind nature combined with her excellent listening skills made her a trusted confidante.

In 1983, Dorothy became a lay Buddhist by taking the precepts at Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey, (Order of Buddhist Contemplatives {Soto Zen}).

She and Gordon moved to Newcastle upon Tyne where they lived on Osborne Road. They took over two local Natural Food & Healthfood retail businesses. Following a Stroke Dorothy’s father moved in to live with them. Life was full and busy.

With Gordon, Dorothy holidayed in Malta, Crete, Lanzarote and other islands in the Canaries. The family cottage near Alston was a good focal point of rest and renewal with short stays to fit in with Dorothy’s working life.

Gordon and Dorothy continued to study and teach which took them to Australia and USA. In Australia they enjoyed studying with a leading Reiki practitioner learning the method of combining the art with compassion and wisdom. And in America on a visit to Throssel Hole’s sister Abbey, they were delighted by a chance meeting with several monks, friends they’d made in the UK.

In 2003 Gordon and Dorothy moved to live near Bath in Somerset where they enjoyed helping to look after Dorothy’s grand children Isabelle, Charlie and Harry. Dorothy made some good friends among her new neighbours. She, along with several others, attended a local women’s group.

The arrival of two new granddaughters Clémentia and Célina was a great cause for celebration. For some years the house became a focal point of peace, fun times and numerous holiday visits from other family members.

Dorothy loved the times all her family got together. She was very proud of her sons and she was delighted to see the wonderful young people her grandchildren have grown up to be.

After 9 years away in the West Country, she and Gordon returned to the North East. Moving to a beautiful home in Gosforth and settled happily back into life here.

Dorothy was very glad to live nearer her sister Margaret and her sons Peter and Michael and their families. Spending time with granddaughters Kirsty, Hollie and Ellie and son-in-law Brian was always a joy for Dorothy.

As she grew older Dorothy began to experience problems with her health. She was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and as time went on the condition progressed. Her mobility was impacted and in 2020 after a stay in hospital she needed a greater level of help at home.

During the Pandemic she and Gordon took all possible precautions but eventually they caught the virus. After both spending sometime in Hospital they went on to recover. But every stay in hospital seemed to exacerbate Dorothy’s Parkinson’s symptoms.

A bright spot in their lives was the arrival in 2021 of two great-granddaughters. Etta Lilly and Lyra Phoenix were welcomed into the family with open arms by Dorothy. She was delighted by them both.

Dorothy and Gordon were supported in recent times by a team of carers. By and large she got on well with most of them. Dorothy never lost her ability to let people know how she felt and occasionally she let one or two carers have the benefit of her opinion.

For the past five years Carers and the NHS were a constant in Dorothy’s life. They have been a wonderful support to help Dorothy negotiate the difficulties her illness caused her and she was immensely grateful.

Gordon says Dorothy experienced a full and rich life made up of lows and highs. She had times of great sadness. Along with many very positive life experiences, helping and inspiring others through work, study and family.

Over the decades Dorothy has taught and trained well over a thousand students in many disciplines. She hosted many students who travelled from abroad to train under her good guidance.

Throughout it all she has been loved and supported by her family and her many friendships which span the years.

She lived her life well.

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Words Spoken by Dorothy’s Son, Christopher

I wanted to say a few words for Dorothy - really on behalf of the whole family. To Dodie - a wife, sister, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, in-law, friend - and also a leader, mentor, guide and loving supporter.

First, thank you all for being here and for your kind and thoughtful messages to Gordon and each other over recent weeks. It has brought the family closer together and she would have appreciated that. It has certainly been a sad time but as we all know, time is a healer and allows us to see the beauty of Dodie’s contribution to so many lives, without feeling always the pain of loss.

Dodie had a very material impact on so many people but I feel especially so at times of great challenge or when change needed to be embraced. She was always very positive and focussed on getting the best out of any situation.

She challenged the conventional way of doing things. With her first marriage. Embracing a new life running a business. When Dad died so many years ago. I think her strength was more remarkable looking back - at a time when little help was available and her relative inexperience in life. She did so well to support and nurture not just her sons but all who came into her life.

She was fortunate to find Gordon - and we especially thank him for his love and support over the years, both to Dodie but also to all of us. Together they found great happiness and spiritual fulfilment.

Her love for all her grandchildren was immense - she gave great passion to that. She was certainly happy that she had so many offspring and with 8 grandchildren already she was even happier to welcome 2 great grand-daughters in 2021.

As we are so many weeks since the death, it feels like a long time ago already. We felt very lucky to be with her through her final peaceful moments. She showed great dignity and courage through many years of a challenging condition.

A special word of thanks to all who helped her - Linda, the Home Instead carers (especially Elizabeth, Eva and Jane), all the doctors and nurses, and medical support and her GP Dr Clements.

She will live on through her inspiration. She used to say, if you live in someone’s memory, your guidance remains.

Thank you Dodie, we wish you peace.

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Words Spoken by Grandson, Charlie French

I'm Charlie, Dorothy’s eldest grandson, and to me, she was called Dodie.

I wanted to say a few short words of thanks to our dear Dodie.

Every moment spent with Dodie was special. She was blessed with a mesmerising energy, one that is difficult to describe with words but one that you never forget.

Dodie possessed an unmatched joy of being in the presence of family and friends. Along with Gordon, she was incredibly hospitable, and together they always created a beautiful welcome for family, friends, friends of friends and visitors. No matter her own personal troubles, her door was always open.

I, like everyone, will always cherish the memories I have of Dodie. I'm so appreciative that I was able to spend so much time in her company. Whether this was through weekends together in Bath or my time at Newcastle University, where Dodie was always on hand for a chat over a cup of tea, a warm meal, including pudding of course! and ensuring my laundry was done, something that as a grubby student I was incredibly grateful for!

Dodie had a special knack of connecting with everyone individually. In my early years, Dodie harnessed my love of football and ensured I became a Newcastle United fan, and although this has consigned me to a lifetime of disappointment so far, I will always treasure the many hours Newcastle United enabled us to spend together.

I am sure these personal memories will strike a chord with you all in your own individual ways and I know we are all so grateful for the special memories we hold.

Dodie, Thanks for always showing such strength and resilience; no matter how hard things got, you always looked on the bright side and maintained your incredible sense of humour, smile and twinkle in your eye.

We will miss your physical presence, but I know you are now at peace. I know you will be with us in everything we do, and we will take your beautiful energy, strength, wisdom  and courageous spirit into our lives for evermore.

Thank you, Dodie.

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Words Spoken by Grandson, Harry French

I would like to take this moment to mention how grateful we all are for our own wonderful memories we have with Dorothy, she is a true inspiration to us all. Always a strong and wise person to talk to, always there to listen. An amazing character, strong in opinion, humour, spirituality, and compassion. The more I learn from others about the life Dorothy led, the prouder it makes me feel to know what a wonderful, intriguing and spiritual outlook she had. Values I would like to take with me on my own journey in life. Dodie was a pillarstone of the family, and always will be. We love you Dodie and we hope we make you proud.

I would also like to read an excerpt from the poem Outward Bound, written by the Alston poet Nowell Oxland in the early 1900’s, which features his memories and images of the countryside around the Alston area, an area where we all know Dodie was very fond of.

(Outward Bound by Nowell Oxland - Abridged)

While the midnight watch is winging
Thoughts of other days arise,
I can hear the river singing
Like the saints in Paradise;
I can see the water winking
Like the merry eyes of Pan,
And the slow half-pounder sinking
By the bridge’s granite span.

Ah! to win them back and clamber
Braced anew with winds I love,
From the river’s stainless amber
To the morning mist above,
See through cloud-rifts rent asunder,
Like a painted scroll unfurled,
Ridge and hollow rolling under
To the fringes of the world.
We shall pass in summer weather,
We shall come at eventide,
Where the fells stand up together
And all quiet things abide;
Mixed with cloud and wind and river
Sun distilled in dew and rain
One with Cumberland for ever,
We shall go not forth again.
 

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